giving flowers

Today is the tenth anniversary of my cousin's passing away. He died at the age of 27. That age seems somewhat old and yet, terribly young, doesn't it? You know the old adage 'time marches on', well today it rings loud for me. As I got ready for the day this morning, I saw the age that the past ten years has added to my facial features, and I for once, was thankful for the little lines that come with time.

I had the strongest urge to go to his gravesite, I just wanted to touch his tombstone, and lay flowers there to honor his life. I know that nothing can bring him back, but still. I talked to his sister and learned that their mother, my aunt is very sick in the hospital. After I hung up, I decided against the 2 hour round trip to his gravesite. I don't know what he would have done. He might have visited my grave today, if it was I who had died all those years ago. I have come to realize that the pain of losing him is far outweighed by the joyful memories of him. We were normal cousins, spats and all. But in us ran a deep connection; blood, upbring, being of the same generation. I am not sure what it was, but it was always there. He never meet a stranger. never ever.

I decided today that his precious mother who has almost died several times, both from physical illness and sheer grief, needed the flowers that I was so intent on delivering today. You know the old adage ' give flowers to the living.....'. Today, I kept that one.